Atom Bombs Week 4

Posted: October 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

   Well, we are at the quarter point in the season now and things are certainly looking up for some teams (Dave) and not so much for others (Paul). You can lump me in there with Paul for now, but with the third highest scoring team things will turn around for your Atoms. And the injury bug caught up to me this week as Britt goes down for the year. That’s how this game goes sometimes. But, if you get into the playoffs, anything can happen. Hell, even Gar won once! Interesting stat from last week. As we all know Nick lost by 59 to Gar. In the first 3 weeks combined the Atoms have lost by a total of 25.4. Averaging out to 8.47 points per game! That is how close our league can be and how every matchup needs to be taken into account. This week in honor of the seemingly unbeatable Star Warriors, I wanted to do an homage to their fearless leader Dave. And thanks to Facebook, this is all possible. So sit back, relax before the games kickoff, and enjoy what I like to call the many looks of Dave.

Last week- Back in business at 3-1 (1-1)

YTD- 6-6 (3-3)

Rest of league (except Andrew and new guy who have been eliminated)- Dave 9-6, Gar 8-6, Bob 8-7, Nick 6-7, Tony 5-5, Tom 5-5. Dave holding a slim lead…

Phinest vs Dillos  Here is the classic Dave shot. It is unassuming. The kind that you can take home to your parents. It says, “hello internet. I’m ok. Clearly I am not a diddler.” Looking at this matchup, Big Ben clearly has underperformed so far this year. And facing a much improved Texans defense under Wade Phillips won’t help. The other main thing that would worry me for Tom is Shady. This week he gets one of the top run D’s in the league. He may be able to get some points through the air, but it will be more difficult than it was in the first 3 weeks. The good side is that I think Bradshaw will make up for that. And Painter is already tabbed as the QB for Monday night so Wayne should struggle. On Andrew’s side Dez is still a question mark for his game as is Matthews with another ailment. Both guys may not be at 100% and that could hurt. Grant is out for GB so look for Starks to produce well. I like both Raiders going up against a NE defense that can’t seem to stop anyone yet. I got burned on making the Dillos my upset pick last week so I’ll go out on a limb here and make the Phinest the LOTW!

Topes vs Pornos This is a more dangerous Dave. Is he a lumberjack? Is this in tribute to bearded Harvard alum Ryan Fitzpatrick? (like how I did that for the Pornos new acquisition? It’s ok, you can admit it) Perhaps the look after a 4 day World of Warcraft bender? The world may never know. And personally I like the air of mystery… Ok on to the breakdown. For the Topes Forte and Jennings are still the 2 main cogs on this team. And with that, depth becomes the issue. Colston is back so Meachem takes a hit, but could still be ok against the awful Jags pass D. Still down on Bowe, and McCluster showed burst, but not too much last week. For Tony, I like the new QB (fun stat- if you take his last 16 starts from last year to last week he ranks as the #6 QB in fantasy. Interesting.) Both Jackson’s look healthy and should do very well. Blount gets the only run D I’d rather have my RB face that isn’t based in Philly. Like Bowe, I am also still down on Mendenhall. Steve Smith could be the key. If he gets “Good Cam” instead of “Bad Cam” Bob could be sunk. My pick- Pornos.

Vikings vs Butterstuff–   This is sexy Dave at his best. What is he thinking? Is it good or bad? Is it about Chalk? Why am I still wondering??? The Vikings put up a good showing last week. And now gets to face the other guy who dodged the draft like an 18 year old kid in 1969. Really strong RB matchups again for the newbie. Do not like the QB spot at all here though. I think Flacco struggles. I still like Wallace, but the other 2 WR’s could find tougher going. For Paul, I actually think they really have his projections low. I know I say the same thing about Chris Johnson each week, but really one of these weeks he has to get it going right? Who knew that with the lockout and then holdout his performance would suffer? Oh yeah, everyone. I doubt I’m the only one that thinks he doesn’t appear to be the self-motivated type to keep himself on a program without the team. You know he was on his boat when his agent called and said the deal was done. He was probably like “really?! Damn it.” Oh well I do like Marshall this week too and I think Ingram scores. So Paul- you are the upset pick!

LOD vs Warriors–      A double shot of well, shots here since it’s Dave’s matchup. The first one I thought is how Dave will look while watching this beat down that he is about to commence. The second must have been when he auditioned to be Robert Palmer’s double in the “Simply Irresistable” video. I wonder if the freshly shorn Brady will have a Samson-like effect on Dave’s team. The rest of the league hopes so! Not much I can say about Dave’s team as they all seem to be clicking. But are they clicking too soon??? Quick look at Gar’s win last week: Take out Brees and Welker and his whole team scored 34.8 points. Wow. The bright spot for one of the teams is that Paul gets Garwood when the Pats are on a bye. So he has that going for him. Anyways I digressed (that was for Gizmo). Back to Gar’s side he does get keeper Arian back, but keep an eye on the hammy. Not big on the Law Firm either. Ok, I’m dragging this out. Dave will flirt with 160 again so take him.

Atoms vs Phoenix Had to use this one as it has my corporate office in the back left! I’m a company man. I also like the angle as it shows how Dave is looking down on the rest of the league from his perch atop the standings. Now to the Primetime matchup we have all been looking for! This is the first of our 2 matchups and I plan on doing to Nick what opposing teams have been doing to the Eagles Run D and their O-line. Running all over them. Hillis returns to play 10-15 lbs lighter and gets a tougher Tenn D than you may think. Unless you think they are pretty good. Then they are just as good. Benson looks like a go too while his suspension is appealed but again does find a relatively tough D only giving up 89 yards/ game. Nicks looks good to play too and I expect him to do well. Hey, since I like stats and busting on Nick, Eli Manning last week had a QB rating of 145.7 against the “Dream Team”. Love it. So we all know that it should come down to how well Nick’s BFF does. Will he finish the game? Will Patrick Willis blow him up? Will his special kevlar glove get to Philly in time? Other fun stat- Vick is on pace for 32 turnovers this year. Maybe Nick meant that instead of TD’s?! Haha! Ok my side, I am concerned about the lack of Gates for Rivers but Miami is allowing a ton of yards and fantasy points to opposing QB’s. Finley won’t get 3 TD’s again (bold right?) but he could do well for yardage this week. And still playing the Defense matchup game… But it’s Curtis Painter for God’s sake! I still stand by my ways- pick Nick!

Good luck everyone, hope you enjoyed the read!


  1. Dave says:

    When I read the opening paragraph, I was actually afraid to scroll down, but eventually I did as I remembered I didn’t upload any nude shots to Facebook. The “sexy Dave” pic is Michelle’s all time favorite pic. I’d elaborate about Michelle, but you wouldn’t believe me. The one of me in the suit was from a failed interview. Perhaps if I had worn the sunglasses during the actual interview, I would have gotten the job. Btw, I’ve moved up to “Underemployed” from “Unemployed”. And that Comcast building pic was from when I went down to see the Phillies parade. Perhaps your use of that pic is an omen of what’s to come this Red October.

  2. ncmalko1 says:

    Pure classic stuff! The writing. The pictures. The constant ragging of a D that will finish top 10 EASY!

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