2011 End of the Year Awards Gala!

Posted: January 14, 2012 in Fantasy Football
Tags: , ,

So here we are with another year down and Dave got his name on the trophy for a second time! Congrats man. Dave also gets the dual honor of winning the league’s predictor contest besting the Topes at the end. Two big wins for the Warriors. Now here we are with yet another installment of the Atom Bombs End Of the Year Awards Spectacular! You know what? I love writing the EOY Awards as much as white girls love Adele, posting pics of their feet on Facebook, and 80’s theme parties. Thanks to all who are reading the year’s end of season banquet blog! This year has been especially fun with all the back and forth about the Eagles. I loved seeing all the different opinions throughout the year. And it has been a lot of fun. Remember that all of this stuff is subjective. For example, you may like country music. I may rather want to hear a screaming baby in my face at 30,000 feet throughout a Trans-Atlantic flight. Different strokes folks. Anyways, I keep trying to step up the end of the year awards, I know it’s the biggest Fantasy blog post of the year and I am here to try to take it to the next level each year. Writing these is a lot like marriage. I love doing it, but sometimes I fight with it, there’s always a ton of pressure to be my best at it, but most importantly it’s something that if I don’t work at it that it then won’t be at its best.

Last year I was 38-21 this year 36-24. Still way over .500 but clearly I was off by a bit. So room for improvement for the picks!

OK, first let’s do the team awards (MVP, LVP- and remember kids, these awards are in value to where they were drafted) then the overalls shall we?

As always we will go in worst to first which means mine will be coming up pretty soon…

Phoenix Eagles: Just an awful season after loading up on his all-homer team that did not pan out. Quick question- of these three options what is worse? 1. Nick drafting. 2. Casey Anthony babysitting. Or 3. ANY blonde girl 15-28 going to Aruba? I’m torn, I’ll be honest. I’m not trying to pile on my man- his Philly Eagles have done that enough- I am only saying that this season was not what was expected. But then again not many usually are. Assuming that Nick was suffering from heat stroke or some other ailment due to living in AZ this long his LVP was every single Eagle he had. Ironically the 1 that he didn’t have on his team (McCoy) had the best season of his young career! The DeSean pick in round 1 may rival Chalk’s famous selection of Emmitt Smith (when he played for the Cardinals- Emmitt, not Chalk just so we are clear). MVP of his team? Believe it or not I gotta go with Reggie Bush! A career resurgence for the former Heisman winner (just don’t ask to see his trophy) was the most valuable on the Eagles team. Close runner up- Philip Rivers who decided to turn it on after I traded him to Nick. Big Jerk.

Pornos: If it weren’t for the standings, and the draft, I wouldn’t even know that the Italian My Little Pony was still in the league! Ooooh, I thought of a new slogan for Tony’s team too: It’s not delivery, it’s Sapornos! Least valuable on Tony’s team? LeGarrette Blount. Man, I was wrong on him too. But save for a few glimmering games, there was no punch to his game this year. I know, I know- I went with the easy joke there and I am sorry for that one! MVP? Steve Smith! Thanks to my new man Cam, Steve Smith really had a hell of a year. Well done sir.

Springfield Atoms: Hey, this is me! Rough, rough year for me fantasy-wise, I mean my team had all the depth of a one-eyed man. But the real life Eagles kinda made up for that. Thanks Andy! I’ll tell you what, I may actually do better here if I spent less time writing blogs and jokes and more time on, you know, fantasy football! But what fun would that be? And then my wife would have to listen to my diatribes about things she has the same amount of interest in as I do in the Kardashian’s life. LVP? Finley. I was thinking that high-octane RB triumvirate of D-Willy/Hightower/ Felix Jones, but since I carried Finley with the semi-delusional hope that he could live up to what I thought he could do all year… Well, there you go. MVP? Cam Newton. Whew. I got effing lucky with him.

Butters Bottom Bitch: The New Orleans Hornets of our league! C’mon it’s not that big of a stretch! I find it hard to make jokes about a team that the owner bailed on. So maybe I will just press through this one. LVP? Umm, CJ1K. And it wasn’t close. MVP? Tie! Percy Harvin and Brandon Marshall. Both did well enough on Paul’s team to garner this award.

Isotopes: Wow, what a roller coaster of a year Bob had. Fresh off his first championship, he loses his keeper Charles in week 2! LVP? Knowshon and Austin Collie. The good news for Collie is that he didn’t really have any major injury issues. The bad news is he had 3 fewer TD’s than DeSean Jackson. (that’s 1 for those not keeping score) MVP? Another tie! Michael Bush and Eli Manning! You guys all know how much I have loved touting how right I was about the 2011 Eagles season. And in fairness I need to come clean on this: I was 1000% wrong on Eli. I am sorry. Coming out of college I thought he looked like a kid going into the family business just because he could. But I must admit- he is a much better QB then I ever thought he would be.

Armadillos: The Dillos are like a silent assassin in our league. You don’t hear too much from Tom, but then you look up and, I’ll be damned, another playoff push! Hopefully next year Tom will be able to step up the smack talk and get this league more active. LVP? Jahvis Best. When will we learn? One 100+ yard rushing game and done for the year by week 7 again. MVP? Jordy Nelson. Eleventh round pick that gets you 1,200 yards and 15 TD’s? Not shabby.

Vikings: Great run put up by the newest member of the league. Hope you had fun and didn’t take the trash talk to personally. It’ll be interesting to see how you do drafting on your own next year. This season you had the training wheels on- next year they come off. Finishing 4th for your first time is nothing to be ashamed of. Being tight with Gar? Maybe. LVP? Peyton?  (I bet you all thought I’d say SupaFelon too didn’t you?! Haha!) MVP? May be the easiest one- the Gronk. Second place though? Mr. Beast mode/ Skittles himself- Marshawn Lynch.

LOD: I’ll admit, seeing the LOD get to a 3rd place finish, I was as amazed as a retarded kid watching a magic show. How amazed? Well, the only thing that amazed me more is the fact that Rob Schneider keeps getting movie/ TV roles. Back to football- Luckily for Gar, Foster’s injury wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And even with mixing Ben Tate in there he still produced at a high level.

Phinest: So close, and yet so far for the Phinest. One win away from playing in the finals. Side note- we need a name for our trophy/ title game. The Chalk Bowl? The “According to Nick He Hypothetically Should Win It Every Year” Bowl? Just throwing that out there… LVP? Mike Williams. I thought he was going to have a great season too. Oh well! MVP? I was thinking Ryan Matthews at first, and still am… but my pick here is another Matthew- Matt Stafford. Mainly since it blocked anyone else from getting him. Look at it this way, Andrew’s 2 QB’s had 9,600 yrds, 89 TD’s and 24 INT’s. That’s sick. And his backup- Stafford- had 41 TD’s! Hmmmm, over 40? WOW! You have to be some kind of QB to have 40+ TD’s! HAHAHAHAHA!

Two time Champion Warriors: I think Dave had an all-time draft. Next year we need to band together and not allow that to happen. I mean it was an awful decision by us. It reminded me of Josh Duhamel’s decision on a bride. Dude, WTF?! LVP? Toss-up between Grant and Wells but since I am a huuuuuge ND fan- Beanie gets it! MVP? Tie between Jimmy Graham and Fred Jackson with the slight edge going to Graham with Jackson’s late season injury.

New Award Time!!!

The Ponce De Leon Fountain of Youth Award– And the nominees are: Tony Gonzalez, Steve Smith.

Run DMC Award– A few years ago I dubbed Darren McFadden from Arkansas as a college player to look out for (I think I compared him to AP- oops!) so I thought I could do that again. Next level player to watch for the upcoming season? WR Justin White. Who dat? Look at these numbers from the WMU kid- season a Wes Welker-like 140 rec, 1911 yrds, 17 TD’s?! 6’0” 215. And in his bowl game? 13 for 265 and a TD. Damn yo! Now no stealing him from me guys!

Renamed Award time!!! Overall LVP is now the Chalk Memorial Worst Draft Pick– Chris Johnson. I know I said it before but it doesn’t make it any less true- who’s have thought that with the lockout a guy like Chris Johnson wouldn’t have the self motivation to get himself ready for a season? Oh yeah, EVERYONE. Close second- DeSean. Sorry man.

Young Buck (Rookie) of the Year– Cam Newton. AJ Green was close, and you know I wanted to make it my ginger QB, but fantasy sports comes down to numbers. And Cam put up ridiculous numbers. How ridiculous?

Overall Gary Cole MVP–  Very tough one to award every year. Since I tend to look at these as not just who had the best numbers, but who had the best numbers relative to their draft spot and how they helped their team, I think that this year’s winner is… a TE tie! Jimmy Graham and the Gronk! Graham taken in the 7th and Gronk in the 12th both helped to propel their teams into the title game.

Elvis Grbac Memorial Award-Usually goes to Megatron, but with his team making the playoffs this year he was eliminated from contention! This year it goes to AP! 970 yards and 12 TD’s on the 3 win Vikings got him this award. And a destroyed knee. Sorry man.

Billy Volek Waiver Wire Gem– Another win for Cam Newton! Rumor has it that this one means more to him than the Heisman and National Championship combined. Awwwww.

Trung Canidate Best Spot Play Fill In Award– Named after the Rams RB that filled in for HOF RB Marshall Faulk in 2001 and in 1 game vs the Jets put up 145 yards and a TD! I remember watching that game at a buddy’s house so it stuck out. Oh, and I thought his name was funnier than my other options for this award! This inaugural award is a tie going to Evan Royster and Kahlil Bell! I have to admit- amazing spot plays in a championship game netting Dave 35 points on only a 12 point win. I know that must have been stressful with that gamble but it sure as hell paid off!

OK folks there you have the end of the 2011 fantasy football season. Despite my finish, it was a really good, fun season. And I can’t wait until the 2012 season. Let’s just hope that the Mayans are wrong and we have a few more seasons left. I’d hate to have the world end while Rodgers is still in his prime! Haha!

  1. Dave says:

    LVP for the Star Warriors was clearly Ryan Grant and his 3 TD’s who I never once actually put in the lineup. Beanie was a 1000 yard rusher with 10 TD’s. And I definitely go Graham on the other. Fred Jackson didn’t score a TD after week 6.

    Also….yeah I don’t care for country music either. I recall saying on draft day that I didn’t think too much of Nick’s team this year. Of course, I waited til after we shut off his Skype connection! The Dillos are indeed the silent assassin as he handed me my first defeat, one of only two, this year. How about renaming it the Trung Royster-Bell award? Too long, ok, never mind.

    Great season, hope to see everyone make it to the next draft season. No hurricanes currently in the forecast. I’ll be bringing back my awesomeness, so best be bringing it!

  2. ncmalko1 says:

    Great great work. I saved this for a time I could settle down and concentrate. This is what makes our league the best. Think about it. We dont even really play for money and its my best league by FAR! I would rather win this league then the $650 for 1st place league I play in with my AZ buddies. In defense of me, the second the draft ended I said, “I have the worst team”. But I told everyone I was going all Eagles. This strategy worked once in the history of FF… the 2007 Patriots. No more excuses. I will be back with a vengeance that will only be equaled by the real Philly Eagles. Look forward to a full commitment of name calling, trash talk, “your mother” focused posts next season. I promise to make it to the draft this year too. Time for me to come back!

    Thanks so much Joe for all your hard work and your blind hate of anyone who has J walked or committed any other crime!

  3. Tom Nealis says:

    The silent assassin would morph into the vulgar jerk if only Bucks County would relax their internet firewalls.

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