2012 Atom Bombs Week 1

Posted: September 5, 2012 in Fantasy Football, humor, sports
Tags: , ,

It’s finally back!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!! After what seemed like an eternity, the NFL season is beginning. I don’t know if I am more excited for this or that 90210’s Kelly and Dylan have finally started dating in real life! (thank you to Old Navy!) I kid, I kid. Kind of. Sort of. Ok, back to the task at hand. When we left you last, Dave had won his second title and the Blitzers were not in the league. Well, it’s a new year and the prodigal Ned Flanders has returned! Hi-dilly-ho and welcome back Dereck! We missed you man, every league needs a guy like you in it. Unless there are minors in the league, then, well, legally… Oh you know! It was great to see everyone at the draft this year, and thanks as always to Nick for flying out, and to Gar for hosting it and for allowing Dave, Nick, Bob, and myself to sit in his new ride naked. That meant a lot to us. Not that we did it at the same time though- because THAT would be weird! I hope everyone had a good “off-season” (I use quotes because we should all know that there really isn’t one) and I hope you are all refreshed and ready to go! I can tell you that we at the Atom Bombs office are well rested (at least as much as you can be with 3 kids, etc, etc) and we have a lot in store for this year! So buckle up, enjoy the season and remember that this is supposed to be fun! Except for Jimmy- this will be a looong year I think my man- hang in there, use this past draft as a learning experience and for God’s sake use the list next year! The first few weeks are always tough to predict because we don’t really know what defenses are going to do what as of yet. But that does not prevent the picks from being made! Let’s get to it… Bold Predictions. Yep, that’s right. To kick off the season I thought I would make some bold predictions for each team’s season. So without further ado, or maybe with a bit of ado…

Blitzers vs Dillos: First bold prediction- Blitzers make the playoffs. Yep, after easily having his best draft ever Dereck will be in the playoffs. You can bet all your chalk on it. The Blitz’ strength this week is the QB and running game. Fitzgerald has his work cut out for him, although he has certainly succeeded before with the same QB’s. Austin is a GTD though and with a bad hammy before training camp started, we will have to see how it plays out. Wallace of course just reported like a week ago so unfortunately he is in a similar wait and see situation. Goin’ bold #2- Dillos win their first title here. Now of course I don’t want this to happen, but I gotta be bold! Not a whole lot that you can’t love in Tom’s matchups this week. As I said at the draft I said the Dillos had the best draft (taking my team out of course). And it certainly shows in week one. The only guy I see that may not quite live up to expectations really is Nelson. Just looking at his history here- 366/ 2TDs, 320/ 2TD’s, 582/ 2TD’s, then last year: 1,263/ 15 TD’s. That is a hell of a spike in production! Of course he still has a top 3 QB so he just may duplicate last year. Pick- Dillo’s and let’s start with a LOTW!!!!

Topes vs Phinest: Bold for the Topes- Topes will somehow, someway have solved the Shanahan riddle and Helu will be a key part in his success this year. And if he does, Bob will be the first! This week for the Topes I do love Forte and Charles here. Murray will depend on the O-line as they looking about as good as the Cardinals line. That being said, Forte and Marshall could have huge games against the Colts, the only question there is will the Bears be up so much that they don’t throw or pull Forte? I doubt it, Bob should be safe. You want a bold for Andrew? Here you go- Phinest, being hamstrung by having so many backup RB’s on his squad (3, soon to be 4 with Beannie, maybe 5 with Greene!) that he pulls off a massive trade by week 4 to save his season and be in the hunt for the playoffs. And next year he will actually show to the draft on time! For this week while Nicks is projected at just under 14, not sure that he will approach that as he is still hampered. Or so they say. I already miss Andre Johnson. He’ll be a stud for Andrew. Excuse while I compose myself here… Thanks. I think this one will be close, and might as well get the Upset Special out of the way quickly as well- Pick Topes.

Pornos vs SPV: Bold prediction for Tony- Pornos will become too distracted by his nuptials that he will tank the year. But, hey, you can’t blame a bride- it is his day! In the matchup of the 2 lowest projected teams, I am going to assume that Tony takes AP out since even if he is active I can’t see him getting more carries than Toby Gerhart. Other than that, solid lineup for Captain Cannoli. For Jimmy- SPV will have my 10 year old as his draft consigliore next year and not draft a team’s 3rd string RB with his first pick. Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. Watch you win this whole thing now too! While I fully expect the Felondelphia Eagles to win this week (haha, like that one?! I just came up with that as I was typing this out! Haha!) the Browns defense last year was better than you may have thought. Quick question: anyone want to venture a guess as to the top 2 defenses against the pass last year? I’ll wait for you effers to Google it… The Stillers should have been an easy answer, but how many had the Browns as #2? Surprising isn’t it? Also interesting the AFC North had 3 of the top 4 and all 4 in the top 9 against the pass last year. Guru’d. So with that said, SupaFelon will still get his 15-18 points, but aside from that It may be a tough start to the season for the youngster. Pick- Pornos.

LOD vs Cowboys: Go Bold for LOD- LOD will drop the lbs he needs to and run a Mudder race with me before next year’s draft! C’mon man- you can do it! For the LOD this week coming right out of the chute with a rookie QB. THAT is bold my friends! I think he struggles a bit early on, but he is a stud. And he’s good at football too! Wayne is on the downside of his career, but still reliable for Luck. The all too easy Bold prediction for Nick- Phoenix Cowboys will finally see SupaFelon for what he is and join the side of the good guys! Haha! I think Gar’s has a better chance of becoming true by the end of this year! For the Cowboys I assume that Ronnie Brown will get the start since Richardson is benched for homerism! I am actually a bit down on Welker this year. The addition of Lloyd, Gronk still there, and the Hernandez extension I doubt they keep him for next year so they may look to lessen the work for him. Of course with Brady he will still find a way to keep him in, but last year’s numbers I don’t see happening again this season.  Boom or bust Jackson may fall into the same issue as I mentioned with the SPV review. I wish I could watch the Wednesday night game with Nick just to see his expressions if Romo and Bryant keep connecting!  Pick- LOD.

Atoms vs Warriors: Warriors bold prediction I actually struggles with- Warriors will spend the year reminiscing about his unprecedented title last year and go 2-11 (2 wins against the Atoms). Haha! Have to love Gerhart as I mentioned above. If Percy can avoid migraine’s, and SupaStar Jimmy Graham’s back holds up Dave should be in a good position. Matty Ice has gotten so much hype this preseason that if he lives up to it for Roddy White’s sake I hope he only has eyes for him! For my bold prediction- Atoms will be so stunned by the Fighting Irish’s improbable march to the BCS National Championship game that he will not even notice that his entire starting lineup has been injured from week 3 on. And he will then have to deal with a certain NFL network analyst giving him crap about the Madden Curse. Yes, there is a story behind that involving the Tweeter that I will tell you all in another post. Well, I went all in this year so hopefully my team just lives up to the Yahoo expectation of Best draft! Lots of decent matchups on my side also, it will be interesting to monitor Cam’s sophomore season. But he torched TB last year so he should start off well. All that being said, as I have done from the beginning… Pick Star Warriors!

Good luck gang, let’s have a great year! (but hopefully mine will be better than yours!)

  1. Dave (Star Warriors) says:

    “…and for allowing Dave, Nick, Bob, and myself to sit in his new ride naked.”

    We probably should have refrained from peeing in the seat.

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