Atom Bombs Week 1 2013!

Posted: September 4, 2013 in Fantasy Football, Football, humor, sports
Tags: , , ,

Atom Bombs Week 1 2013- Post Draft/Week 1 Edition!

  So here we are. Another fantasy year is beginning. First, an apology. I took a hiatus from this (and to be honest was debating even doing it this year) due to an insane work schedule. And a sincere thank you to those that emailed and gave me shit about possibly not doing it. It meant a lot. So I am back, and hopefully will make this better than ever. So enough with the whiney crap, let’s get to the more self-indulgent crap that the Atom Bombs in known for!!

  Quick aside- what was the most important thing that happened in the offseason? SHARKNADO!!! I love Shark Week, and since it always comes up right before draft time it tends to signify the start of Fantasy Football Season to me. I know that it was on a different channel and not affiliated with it but still. If you haven’t seen it yet, do it. Speaking of Shark Week, they had a talk show on after the specials and guess who was the social media correspondent? None other than Taryn Southern! Long time readers remember that I am a huge fan of hers going back to the Project MySpace series. Yep, I was one of the 5 that regularly watched it- and loved it! So I just had to include that nugget of joy. And since I am referencing her, here is my favorite youtube video that she did:

Awesome. Ok, back to what you may or may not have come here for!

   Draft Recap. As our draft this year was uncharacteristically early, a lot of craziness has ensued. The Topes lost their starting TE and their #2 overall pick had padded practice maybe twice so far this year. Just to keep things in the family, Le’Veon Bell has been more cracked than the Liberty Bell. Oof, sorry, must still be in preseason mode here.  The main other shocker was how well we all drafted for Jimmy. That’s right, no Michael Bush with his first pick, nor did he tank the entirety of his draft. On behalf of all of us- you’re welcome. That being said, you will have to be a mime all year since you didn’t draft anyone! Best thing you can do is to study how we drafted for you and learn from it. You’ll get there my man. Now, on to the picks, and the fun!

  Also for the beginning of the year, I will list the key make or break player for each squad.


Blitzers vs Sapornos– MOB player for the Blitzers: EJ Manuel. Yeah yeah, I know he isn’t on his team but his development will be crucial to the success of Spiller. If he struggles I expect defenses to load up on the line and limit his yardage. MOB for the Pornos: the WR Corps. Whether it is injuries early with Nelson and Cruz, or QB ineffectiveness with V Jax, Tony’s RB’s much like the Blitzers should be strong enough to carry him, but for how long? For the matchup Dereck is going all in on the Saints passing game starting Brees (obv) along with BOTH New Orleans WR’s. Risky move my friend. It can work when they are Bruce and Holt, Jones and White, etc. But it is a chance that both will go off in the same game. On Tony’s side, we have the aforementioned WR issues, but good matchups aside from Gates getting the Texans D. I like that for the first game of the year we get both opposing fantasy defenses in this game. Looks like a close one, and while I think that the Blitzers will shock the world and make the playoffs, I am going with the Pornos in the first Upset Special of the year!

LOD vs Dillos– MOB player for the LOD: DeMarco Murray. Health and a shitty O line are the main hindrances here, not talent. But with the glass Ryan Matthews as the only quality RB on the bench a lack of depth here could spell… wait for it… Doom. See what I did there? Legion of Doom. Then spelling out Doom. Priceless. MOB for the Dillos: the TE position. Loading up at RB in the early stages of the draft left Tom with Ertz and Olsen. Not a bad move benching Olsen vs the tough Seattle D this week, but this may catch up later on. In this game a few things jump out at me. Again the defenses could be crucial here. The Dillos get a great matchup with the Bucs facing a Geno Smith led Jets team. While the LOD has the vaunted Niners D getting Aaron Rodgers and the Pack. Hmmm. For the Dillos you also have to love Roddy and S Jax getting the abysmal Saints D. Romo historically does well against the Giants (especially early when there is less pressure) and this benefits the LOD with Bryant and Murray. Also benefitting Gar is the fact that he has 2 Redskins going against an anemic Eagles D that seems to have allergic reactions to tackling. Advantage Garcon and Alf. I honestly see this one being close also and wouldn’t be surprised no matter who gets the W. But I am going with the LOD in week 1.

Topes vs Eagles– MOB for the Topes: double sized with Foster and Marshall. Now that I see that it looks like a buddy cop show title. “This week on Foster and Marshall the boys investigate a bank robbery by not playing by the rules…” OK, that one even had me laughing! Anyways, with Foster’s balky back (alliteration alert!) and Marshall’s hip/ mental instability Bob could find it tough sledding if he loses one or both. MOB for the Eagles: Gronk. If he gets 12-13 games out of him, the title should be his. For the game, the Topes have a tasty matchup with RG III going against the Eaglets. That was not a typo FYI. Also if Foster is healthy both he and Big Andre my get a Bolts D without SuperStar MLB Te’o. (Had to do it) On the Eagles side Julio gets the Saints. Wow. And I will assume that he takes Gronk out for Rudy since he isn’t playing this week. One other thing I would do if I were him? Probably play Vick over Rodgers. Ballsy, yes. But considering SupaFelon can’t last the year why not maximize his point potential early? Just throwing that out there. Of course I wouldn’t do it myself, just saying I would if I had as many wet dreams about #7 as Nick does. Only real weak spot in Phoenix’ lineup may be Nicks. Bob may get lucky if Rodgers can throw everything to Jones. (or Finley since I have him- just sayin’) My pick— Phoenix.

SPV vs Atoms– Huuuge revenge game for SPV as I am sure that he hasn’t forgotten he was the victim of the only 100+ point beatdown in league history last year. (104.14 to be exact). This is mainly because I keep bringing it up. MOB for the SPV: CK7. Had to keep the acronym thing going. We drafted a very good squad for Jimmy. Kaepernick though is the key. With weaknesses in the Niners receiving corps he may have to rely on his legs. MOB for the Atoms: Amendoula. If he can come close to Welker-like production with Super Dreamy Brady throwing him the ball the Atoms may shock Yahoo! Jimmy has some decent matchups with Old Man Gonzalez getting the Saints, and Lynch getting my boy’s Panthers. Fitz should do well against a slightly revamped Rams D now that he has a better QB situation. On the Atoms side of the ball, Cam could struggle against the Seahawks but at least Ridley and Amendoula get the Bills. Not 100% sure if I will play Finley or Sudfield yet at TE as that will be a GTD. Pick, as always, SPV!

Two Time Defending Champ Warriors vs Phinest– Have to end the picks with the Champ! MOB for the Warriors: MJD. Which one will Dave get this year? He is banking a lot on him proving the detractors wrong. MOB for the Phinest: Daryl Richardson. Maybe not for this year, but as keeper potential he could be huge. On paper this looks to be the most unbalanced game of the week. Rice gets a Broncos defense without Von or Elvis. And Matty Ice gets the Saints. The only real question for Dave is how will his Pantherific Duo of Steve Smith and DeAngelo do vs the Seahawks. As for Andrew, I love his Pats D vs the Bills. Can Torrey Smith or Cecil Shorts step up to a #1 role? Not sure this week as the Warriors are the LOTW!

Good luck this year gang! And as always… GO IRISH!!! (It’s Michigan Week, I am especially ornery.)

  1. Dave (Star Warriors) says:

    As you ended your picks with the Champ. Let the champ be the first to comment on another excellent blog, very glad you decided to do it. The more I read and hear, I think MJD will at least be a solid pick. I think the quest for the threepeat may hinge on Eddie Lacy becoming a force that I can use in the Flex spot.

    Legion of Doom…I see what you did there!

    What was your favorite absurdity in Sharknado? I like when he poured a canister of gasoline into the senior citizen’s swimming pool, threw some matches in and it erupted 100 feet high in flame like it was 100% nitro glycerin.

    • gingerdad1 says:

      Sorry for the Delay Dave-

      Thank you for the support! The reason I singled out MJD was just with where he went. But he wouldn’t have been there on the come back so if you liked him, had to grab him there!

      I loved ALL of it in Sharknado! It was cinematic perfection. Cutting your way out of a shark with a chainsaw? Brilliant.

  2. Dave (Star Warriors) says:

    I’m proud that to say that you are now 1-0 in your LOTW’s!

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